Don’t Wait “Pay Forward” #65

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is – Don’t Wait. Yesterday was Mother’s Day, my mom came to mind. With all my moods shifting and desires, changing without a moment’s notice, I loved and trusted her. I often say I never trusted anyone growing up, now I remembered mom’s caring for me when no one could. With today’s understanding I know she loved me unconditionally, when I would let her. In 1978 she became terminally ill, within six months her condition was hopeless. Both my mom and dad wanted to die at home. Hospice wasn’t around in 1978. In those days pain control was very limited, mom suffered excruciating pain. My mom wanted us five children to take turns staying with them 24/7, which we did. My mom had been a very strong person, the one we could always count on when things seem to be out of hand. She kept telling us she was going to beat this illness, but it became clear that she could not. It was my turn to stay over. I got in bed with her, and was holding her; I began to pray silently that our Father would let her pass. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her. She told the rest of the family that they should listen to me. She just wanted us to give her permission to pass on. Both my mom and dad passed away nine days apart. I regret I didn’t tell her I loved her, and how grateful I was. Thy Love, Thy Will be done.

Day
65