I Am Offering My Petty Guilt “Pay Forward” #48

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is - I Am Offering My Petty Guilt. I was reading about the poor widow; “She put in more than more than all others.” She actually put in only two small coins. When I came to the door of Alcoholics Anonymous I had an abundance of guilt to give up. I was bankrupt in all the things of this world. Just a willingness to surrender to A.A. was a big offering. Until I started practicing A.A.’s spiritual principles, I was unable to unload all that I was guilty of, nor my fears and anger. At times I have resentments, most often too petty these days to complain about, but like all resentments they block my union with our Father. This morning I became aware that I was not offering – surrendering these small coins to our Father. Yes, I know, “Half measures availed us nothing.” However I have been treating petty resentment, my two mites, as nowhere near a half-measure of anything. “Old soldiers never die they just fade away” Douglas McArthur. The problem, I realize they faded into my subconscious storehouse, ready to come out of hiding at a moment’s notice. You would think with all these years of being active in A.A. I would be beyond the petty stuff. When we come into A.A. most of us are traveling on the broad-road, getting by with a lot of real guilt. As we awaken and grow in Alcoholics Anonymous the road gets very narrow, a one-way pathway Home. Thy Love, Thy Will be done.

Day
48