Our Personal Gethsemane “Pay Forward” #19

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is – Our Personal Gethsemane. My first spiritual transformation cycle began February 6, 1957 when I was going through the greatest struggle was taking place, my personal Gethsemane. I was realizing the depth of my powerlessness. I have experienced this condition and seen many others hit this bottom as part of a spiritual transformation, everything had to stop working as it had been. Our struggle came into play when we keep trying to make yesterday’s tools, which had become obsolete work as before. My personal “reality” had stored deeply rooted useless and harmful habits of thoughts and feelings. This deep rooted condition popped up on their own account, and when I was offered the possibility of an unknown Power taking over the struggle intensified, was it another imposter? This time I had no illusion that I would work through this despair. I was truly willing to do whatever it was going to take to sober up and stay sober, but knew I could not alone and unaided. Could I trust an unknown Power I had never experienced? The breaking up and passing away of our old personal “reality” error state of mind and making ready for the new is our personal Gethsemane. As with each of the spiritual transformation I have been given in one way or another I said, Thy Will be done, not mine. Our Father’s grace may have seemed obscure for a while, but His grace will come. We had to stop fighting anything or anyone. Thy Love, Thy Will be done.