Accepting Me - Warts And All “Pay Forward” #134

I Greet The Indwelling Knower.

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is – Accepting Me - Warts And All.

This has been a very long and difficult road for me.  I was not about to let anyone know my deepest secrets.  Beyond that fear, was a burning desire for someone to unconditional love and accept me, just as I am, but how could they, I wouldn’t let anyone in on my deepest “hidden” stuff?  Once I could accept that there were at least three of me, my created self, my enlightened personal “reality” and my dark side. I was willing to accept my conflict as a real problem, and having a possible solution.  First, I had to see, and accept, and own my darkness as is, and at least be willing to talk it over with the indwelling Presence.  Practicing A.A. spiritual principles, and listening to others open their hearts, minds and souls awakened me to an enlightened self-interest.  This coincides with my trust in our Father and awakening to my created self.  It was foolish to think I could accept intimacy from another when I couldn’t for myself.  “What happens when people open their hearts?  They get better” Haruki Murakmi.  I was reminded, “If anyone hears MY voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” As my trust became part of an abiding faith in our Father’s grace, I took a lighted candle into myself-imposed darkness, at last a beginning.  Thy Love, Thy Will be done.