I Greet The Indwelling Transformer.
Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is – Our Personal Gethsemane. My first spiritual transformation cycle, as far as I know, began February 6, 1957 when I was going through the most difficult struggle of my life, my Gethsemane. I realized the depth of my powerlessness. I’ve experienced this condition and seen many others hit bottom as part of a spiritual transformation; everything stopped working as it had been. Our struggle comes into play when we keep trying to make “yesterday’s tools,” which had become obsolete. My personal “reality” had stored up too many useless and harmful habits of thoughts and feelings. These guys popped up on their own account, and took over. The struggle intensified; was I faced with another imposter? This time I had no illusion that I could, work through this despair with the toolkit I had. I was willing to do whatever it was going to take to sober up and stay sober, but knew I could not alone and unaided do so. Could I trust an unknown Power I had never known? The breaking up and passing away of my false self was indeed my personal Gethsemane. As with each of the spiritual transformation I have been given, one way or another I said, Thy Will be done, not mine, and really mean it. Our Father’s grace may have seemed obscure for a while, but His grace did come. “We had to stop fighting anything or anyone.” Thy Love, Thy Will be done.