“I’m - Back” “Pay Forward” # 81

I greet The Indwelling Healer.

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is – “I’m - Back.” I’ve accepted that alcoholism is never fully healed.  It’s progressive, drinking or not, so is healing.  I awakened with another level of one of my old defects.  I turned 90 last August with over 64 years as an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous.    A friend, awakened yesterday, with an old resentment; they thought was forgiven.  To their surprise, they wanted to take a drink of alcohol.  After thirty something years as an active member of A.A., cause them to question their sobriety, and their sanity.  Perhaps my sharing with them could have something to do with my being attacked by one of my thoughts of defects in need of an upgrade.  One mistake in my judgment is that our healing should be so complete that the defect would never show its ugly-self.  The ism of alcoholism rides again.  I am coming to an understanding, that as long as we are alive we will have old enemies knocking at our door, calling for a new level of healing.  Everything does have a season.  I’ve seen and experienced a number of spiritual transformations taking a similar course.  However, for that to happen, everything has to stop working to make room for a new level of awakening.  This current problem seems to be centered on one defect, which could be leading me to a bottom as part of a real spiritual transformation, if so that’s truly welcome.  Thy Love, Thy Will be done.