Putting On Hold

Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is emotional. Emotional growth is put on hold when practicing our alcoholism and or other addictions. When emotions grabbed my attention, my reaction was primitive or childish. I stuffed it, or overreact or fight with it. My reaction to fear turns to anger so fast I didn’t know I was fear-driven and reacted accordingly. Arriving at Alcoholics Anonymous my emotional level was equal to a fourteen-year-old. I did not know how to express love, grief, joy, anger, frustration or sorrow as an adult. Now my emotions serve as part of my guidance system. One common attention grabber is a little butterfly feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I get a wanting or needing something feeling. Sometimes I just have an elusive feeling. All of my emotional signals are trying to get me to do or not do something. These emotional signals influence my decisions and reactions. Something significant is going on beyond words, telling me what’s stored in my subconscious mind. These events are useful; they point to what I have learned about life, what’s going now and something about my hopes and dreams? Practicing Alcoholics Anonymous’ Spiritual principles in all our affairs is a way to emotionally grow up and Spiritually awaken. Thy Love, Thy Will be done.