Just As I Am “Pay Forward” #18


Today’s “Pay Forward” gift is - Just As I Am. “Your positive, optimistic thoughts add to your good more dramatically than compound interest increases your bank account” (Eric Butterworth). I had a “too real” bad-dream. I was at a workshop and during the break the leader told me I was a liar, and that half of the attendees left because of me. The dream revealed one of my greatest fears; to be of no value, useless, even harmful. I want so much for my life to make a good difference, does it? It would be helpful, about now, to find one thing I’m good at, and be genuinely grateful for it. All I need to do is to look back to February 6, 1957, my whole world as I knew it, was useless. I was facing the hideous Four Horsemen – Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair. I had hit my bottom, I had nothing of value, and no one to turn to. I had no relationship with our Father or anyone else. If I had not hit my bottom, I would not have the wonderful, fulfilling life I have, for which I am deeply grateful. I am willing to accept the present “whatever” and be content just as I am, here and now. Now that I have the spiritual tools to deal with my worst dreams; the nightmares that calls me into question, I’m grateful for them. “When the day ends and the sun sets, I let my troubles go” Albert Schweitzer. Thy Love, Thy Will be done.

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