AT TIMES
At times I have felt so much warmth, love and closeness it felt like I had entered the center of The Holy Spirit merged as one, healed and transformed,
At times I was so self-centered in my lower sick self, filled with illusions of separation, alone and not part of anything or anyone.
At times I have experience the Presence of our Father ever Present,
At times I could not find Him anywhere Present.
At times I have felt so much joy and the Energy of life that I ran in all directions sharing that joy,
At times I was so depressed, filled with total despair and self-hate that I welcome the thought of a quick death or just being not conscious.
At times I have been so filled with the Love of God, I thought I would surely burst,
At times I could only see God as an impersonal universal force.
At times I wanted God our Father to know every thought, act and feeling I was experiencing,
At times I wanted to hide from Him.
At times I have known Jesus as my big Brother, my friend, my guide,
At times I felt that He had no time for one like me.
At times I have known the Highest in those I meet, Seeing beyond their appearance, and mask,
At times I saw only their limits, their human condition.
At times I have prayed only for others’ correction and for me even as we fell short,
At times I want only to punish and cause guilt in others and me.
At times I wanted nothing more than to share my gifts and talents,
At times I wanted only to withhold and withdraw.
At times I am in that beloved Spiritual Flow, surely in a conscious union with You Three,
At times nothing is freely flowing, I am as a dead sea with no outlet.
At times I am in a conscious union with You Three, as Your son Father, as a small part of Your Holy Whole Spirit and as a little brother to You Jesus and a loving brother to all others,
At times I cannot even remember any of that even for an instant.
At times I have the faith that You Three will Heal those who come to me,
At times I am filled with disappointment because You are not quickly healing those that come.
At times when I feel the pain of those who do come, but I know that pain will pass, soon,
At times I am filled with sadness and compassion for those people who don't get any relief from their pain and I fear You, Father will not help them and I feel so useless and helpless.
At times I know the words I speak are directly from You and those Words do heal,
At times my words mean nothing or even seem harmful
At times I want You Three to be consciously everywhere Present,
At times I hide or pretend that You, Father cannot find me or know where I am.
At times I know it is my Spiritual Limbs that take me about our Father's Business,
At times I believe it's all up to the human condition and therefore fail to reach a worthwhile goal.
At times I have the Vision of Christ and the Ears to Hear the Voice of God,
At times I see only my little reflection in a mirror and hear only the hum of my personal reality.
At times I remember most often my life filled with the grace of God. I experience the joy, fullness, and I am warm and loving, kind and understanding, wise and intelligent, Forgiven and forgiving, Healed and healing, Loved and loving. I am given all the Power I need to See, Be, Do and I consciously know His Will for me. I say Amen to all of that, and I Thank You Three.